Raising Right: A Parent’s Guide to Instilling Core Values

With the rapid digitization of almost all aspects of human life, parent-child relations have become increasingly complex. Whether it is helping children navigate the quagmire of social media or guiding them towards socially acceptable behavior, teaching children the correct values has become more critical than ever.

Values are fundamental to a child’s development of their personality. They serve as a ‘wire-frame’ or a blueprint, helping them grow into resilient, empathetic, and confident individuals. A poorly integrated value system, however, can create chaos in a child’s life and estrange him from his loved ones.

For instance, I recall mentoring Shekhar (name changed), whose parents were concerned about his excessive use of video games. Shekhar would spend most of his free time on computer games and was slowly becoming more irritable and reclusive. His parents were unable to help him prioritise effectively and balance freedom and responsibility. 

When Shekhar came to talk to me, I encouraged him to introspect and reflect on the cause of his parents’ frustration. After a few discussions about his routine, it became too clear to him that he was dissatisfied with his way of life. He became aware of the harmful effects of excessive video gaming and felt inspired to make positive changes. He saw how his values were misplaced and were drifting him away from his studies and his parents. 

Shekhar began by creating a schedule that prioritised academics. He relegated gaming to the weekend, engaging in it only after he had accomplished his goals for the week. He also started spending more time with his parents, which drastically improved their relationship. 

Many parents come to me for advice on instilling the correct values in their children. If you are one of them, here are some practical tips:

• Be a Role Model: Children are perceptive and impressionable. They observe you and use your behaviour as a model for their own. As parents, we must be aware of how we are presenting ourselves in our interactions and the impact it has on our children.

• Positively reinforce efforts, and achievements will follow. Appreciate children with words or gestures whenever they uphold a value, rather than waiting until they achieve something great. Reinforcing small steps can lead to rapid, positive changes in personality.

• Teach through fun ways: Values can be communicated through storytelling and games. Stories with a moral purpose help instill a fundamental sense of right and wrong, making children aware of the consequences of their actions. Sports also help instill values through cooperation, teamwork, healthy competition, and fair play. They teach kids essential lessons in accepting failure, resilience, and discipline.

• Set clear boundaries regarding values: It is essential to establish clear boundaries regarding ethical behaviour in the house. This helps children learn their limits, allowing them to internalise your value system during their formative years. Boundaries are necessary for security, structure, and consistent emotional and moral development.

• Ensure regular family time every day: Set a time each day for family bonding and open discussions. Use this time to foster a strong connection with your children and discuss their ideas, interests, and aspirations.

By consistently applying the principles above, parents can help their children develop responsibility and accountability while fostering integrity, empathy, compassion, and other core values. This requires patience, consistent support, and encouragement from parents towards their children. The role of parents in instilling values in their children is vital in shaping their young minds. In an environment where there is nurturance, encouragement, and mutual respect, children feel empowered to grow into socially responsible and resilient individuals. Ultimately, it’s the values imbibed today that will form the ethical foundation of tomorrow’s society.

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Edited by: Mr Siddhant Kumar